The 20 Worst Films Ever Made (According to me of course)

Here are the worst films in no particular order as they are all rank...get it.



1.) Santa Claus (1959) A film that sits in my DVD collection because I have a fine taste for bad movies and it was only $2 at K-Mart along with another great Christmas film Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. The movie starts with a stereotyped sing-along and then goes into a battle between one of Satan's helpers and Santa Claus...oh and Merlin is also helping the cause.

2.) The Creeping Terror (1964) More MST3K material as a giant carpet (aka the creeping terror) attacks a small town and countryside. Oh the horror.

3.) Xanadu (1980) Roller disco! Olivia Newton John! Gene Kelly's last film! I hate musicals and I hate disco and rollerskates so the combination of the three makes me wish that my mom didn't own the soundtrack and the movie so she could watch and listen multiple times.

4.)Silent Night, Deadly Night Pt.II (1987) Garbage Day! Full of one-liners that are funnier than they are supposed to be (in a bad way) and the fact that 75% of this movie is showing via flashback what happened in the first movie. Needless to say a waste of film. Red Car....good point.

5.) Blackbelt II:Fatal Force (1993) I've never heard of Blackbelt, but I couldn't turn down the opportunity to rent the VHS from my library and I watched as a bad version of Black Cobra and B-rated Kung Fu film unfolded before my eyes as the main character must avenge his partner's death.

6.) Two Bits and Pepper (1995) Drunk driving+plus talking horses+two Joe Piscapo's= One bad family film. Also one of the worst parenting jobs ever.

7.) Baby Geniuses (1999) I hate talking babies. I also hate it when talking babies to stupid things. This movie is full of both. Kids movie or not this movie sucks.

8.) From Justin to Kelly (2003) I understand that one likes to strike while the iron is hot, but this felt like someone to the iron and struck me in the face.

9.)George of the Jungle 2 (2003) Watched as part of an agreement the second installment takes a film which I enjoyed as a kid and took all the bad things and multiplied them by ten in this film. Poor John Cleese why do you appear in some of the films you do. Also look out for Julie Benz pre-Dexter as Leslie Mann's replacement.

10.) Hood Angels (2003) Sometimes faking one's death can be a great plot twist. Not in this movie. The cover of the movie shows a girl who's not even in the movie or she looks much different. There is a chase (a very slow) in what seems to be an abandoned mall and a girl uses her braid to kick some ass. Oh and it stars rapper Juvenile.

11.) Zombie Nation (2004) is a mess of a film that also in the process steals a famous line from The Marathon Man and has zombies, but no scares are to be found in this film. Is it safe?

12.) Haunted Boat (2005) I watched this movie because of a cat. The cat was seen at the very end and much like the members of the boat, I wish that I would have disappeared. Slow and dreary, this movie is a great cure for insomnia.

13.)Son of the Mask (2005) to say Jamie Kennedy is not funny is an understatement. Obviously this film is aimed towards a younger audience, but when done right kids films can be entertaining for everyone. If you like seeing kids pee on people and stupid effects and jokes then by all means see this movie.

14.) The Gingerdead Man (2005) One of Gary Busey's finest roles as the voice of a killer gingerbread man which holds the spirit of a convicted killer. It's pretty much the same premise as Child's Play and Jack Frost (1996) but with a gingerbread man instead.

15.)Bottom's Up (2006) Paris Hilton and Jason Mewes make for a not so convincing couple and a highly unentertaining film. Watch for a cameo from Mewes old pal Kevin Smith.

16.) Stupid Teenagers Must Die (2006) Low budget, bad acting, tries to be clever and fails.

17.) AVH: Alien Vs. Hunter (2007) the straight to DVD rip-off of AVP goes straight to DVD for a reason as the hunter and the alien are corny and the surprise ending makes you rip your hair out.

18.) Disaster Movie (2008) the worst out of the parody movies (haven't seen Meet the Spartans) I feel like the don't even try to make a story, they just throw a bunch of movies they want to make fun of together and just say...get it...we're making fun of this movie.

19.)Thankskilling (2009) made in the great state of Ohio, Thankskilling has a handpuppet killer turkey that has kills someone after he has sex with them, a scene in which the people are fooled by the turkey puppet wearing the skin of one of the girl's father and then to top it off the turkey becomes radioactive. It does have a guy named General Bastard though.

20.) Jack Frost 2 (2000) joins where the first movie left off as the killer snowman mixes with the hero's DNA and takes on a life of his own while our hero vacations at a tropical resort. Jack Frost turns the paradise into a tundra and can only be stopped by bananas, see the film to find out why.